Our 2013 Christmas Card

I didn't feel like doing the whole Christmas card thing this year, but I did manage to create one for all of my friends on Facebook and here to see. We hope you all get to enjoy a Merry Christmas!

Parenting learning curve

I never realized before I had children what incredible characteristics each individual has. I may have taken note that not all kids in the same family act the same but I still assumed that when your raised by certain adults you take on their mannerisms and way of being. Then I became a parent, after several years of bringing up children I came to the conclusion that every child's spirit is so completely their own. The three kids I have are not carbon copies of myself or Jared, in fact if you were just to observe how they are without looking at them you wouldn't put them in the same family category or match them up with us. I parented each of my infants nearly the same but yet I had three different sleepers, two cuddly babies and one who needed distance and more evidence that no matter what I did that baby was going to march to the beat of its own drum. Its fascinating and completely terrifying all at once. I love seeing their specific interests in life, and what motivates them to be happy. I also realize that how I raise one child may not be effective in raising my others.
 When your young and to be honest fairly stupid its easy to find the fault in others parenting skills, I know a whole lot of "I would never's" and "My children will never's" crossed my mind and probably my lips when I was young and didn't have a clue. I've learned since that you just don't allow those thoughts to cross your mind because most of the time I've had a chance to eat those words or clearly see what someone else was dealing with.
In a manual I was reading the other night I came across several parenting tips that I know would help in my own parenting of my very different children. One suggestion is to get to know each child individually, a helpful idea was to help young children with their personal prayers at night. If you ever wanted to know what is on my sons mind just ask him to say the prayer and you'll have a pretty open window to his thoughts. That wont always be the case but it would help for me to take the time each night to help my children with their individual prayers and also spend 5 minutes or so talking with them about their day or thoughts. Its hard when I just want everyone in bed because I am spent, but I know that the rewards of actually knowing my child will out way my impatience.
One profound quote that I read by Elder Boyd K. Packer on parenting with the help of heaven is-
"Once parents know that there is a God and that we are his children, they can face problems like this and win.
"If you are helpless, he is not.
"If you are lost, he is not.
"If you don't know what to do next, he knows.
"It would take a miracle, you say?
"Well, if it takes a miracle, why not"
(in Conference Report, Oct. 1970)
Ultimately it doesn't matter what parenting advice I read in books or online, each of my children require their own unique approach, its a matter of lovingly finding what works and when that fails ask the one who has all of the answers for help in raising His children.

2014 is gonna be great

Have you ever had a year that just really sucked? We've had several but 2013 did its best to take the cake. It started out with a bang when in January Jared was told that the program that he was working on was being outsourced to a company in Canada. He quickly took an open position within the company paying about $5 less an hour until he could secure another job. Well that other job didn't come around until 3 months ago so we supplemented our income with the our tax return until it ran completely out. I went back to work cleaning for my moms business just to keep our heads slightly above water and then Jared started his next semester of school along with his new job. We saw him on weekends and sometimes he would surface from doing homework downstairs in between school and work. Now were in December and I'm honestly just waiting out the year. Jared should have a permanent position with Auto Liv at the first of the year. He plans on taking spring semester off because I will be due to deliver right around finals and that is just too much stress. We've been budgeting about $200 a month for him to drive down to school everyday which is a huge, but necessary bite of our budget. After Wednesday of this week he wont need to drive to Weber State until he begins his next semester of school possibly in the summer but maybe not till fall. I plan on using the extra $200 to pay down debts and then when our tax return comes most of it will hopefully go to get rid of the rest of our debt.
When we lived in Ogden we were robbed several times and one time after our door was busted in and just about any valuable we had at the time was taken, we had to make a home owners insurance claim to fix and replace all that was lost. Well that claim came back to haunt us after purchasing our new place and nobody wanted to insure us without taking us to the cleaners. Up until October of this year we were double paying for our homeowners insurance because they wanted our monthly payment and our mortgage company wanted to prepay for the following year. Can you see why 2013 just sucked every bloody penny from us? In March of 2014 that stupid robbery claim will be three years old and will drop off of our record and in turn our homeowners insurance should also drop.
Gratefully we have survived thus far, we aren't financially ruined, we have a home to live in, food to eat and clothes to wear. I know that the Lord has blessed us time and time again, I am so grateful to everyone who did so much for us in the darkest hours of 2013, I pray that you will be blessed with what you stand in need of for your kindness.
 I can't wait to toast away this crummy year and move on to better things!

Coconut Oil, Almond Butter Cookies

It is the third of December and it is really cold, like 28 degrees cold so of course we need some warm treats from the oven. My little boy is allergic to peanuts and it has been around 3 to 4 years since I last made some. I really love peanut butter and its a bummer to not be able to cook or bake with it whenever I please. Today I thought hey I bet I could find an almond butter cookie recipe that would be similar to peanut butter cookies, and I found lots of almond butter recipes and lots of them were paleo so they didn't call for flour but were okay with flour around here so I didn't feel like making some that weren't similar to what I love peanut butter cookies to be. Lately I've backed off using Crisco in my cookie recipes and have been replacing it with either butter or coconut oil, today I wanted to use coconut oil because I have zero patience with waiting for my butter to soften. I thought it would be hard to find a recipe that called for both almond butter and coconut oil so I adapted a peanut butter/ coconut oil recipe from Cowgirl Chef and came up with some really yummy cookies.

Almond Butter Cookies
ingredients:
1 C coconut oil
1 C white sugar
1 C brown sugar
2 eggs
1 t vanilla
1 C Almond butter (mine is the Kroger brand and it is already sweetened)
2 C flour (her recipe calls for 2 1/2 cups but I thought that would make them a little too dry)
1 1/2 t baking soda
1 t baking powder
1/2 t sea salt (I used coarse sea salt and it gave them a small salty bite with the sweet)

 Preheat oven to 375 degrees F, cream coconut oil with the sugars, add eggs and vanilla blend, add almond butter and cream it all together, pour all of the remaining ingredients into the bowl and mix. I hate using two bowls so that is how I always mix my dry ingredients. Drop by rounded Tbs on an ungreased baking sheet and smash with a fork in a criss-cross pattern (just like regular peanut butter cookies). Bake for 8-10 minutes, 12 minutes in my oven would have been too long, you don't want them too dry or burned.

These cookies held up really well once they were allowed to cool for a minute, also their flavor developed better when they were cooled. Serve with a tall glass of cold milk and let that oven help heat your cold kitchen!

Recipe adapted from Cowgirl Chef peanut butter cookies

Christmas Dinner

This year we will be staying home for Christmas dinner, which really makes me excited because I love cooking big meals. Jared's work gave us a turkey this year for thanksgiving but we went to my aunts for thanksgiving dinner so its still hanging out in our freezer. So naturally the perfect time to use it will be for a beautiful Christmas dinner. I've cooked one turkey in the past and it turned out lovely so I've been itching to do another but turkey just isn't something I go pick up from the grocery store for obvious expense reasons and really my kids don't really care to eat much meat as it is. I'm pretty sure that besides the turkey I will bake up some homemade Lion House rolls. We received two different Lion House cook books for our wedding and on special occasions I have made their rolls. Their recipe for rolls is slightly different than my regular go to dough recipe in that it calls for warmed milk in place of water and butter in place of oil, so it makes some really great melt in your mouth rolls. I'll also make some stuffing, but I usually just use the Stove Top box or a Pepperidge farm bag of stuffing because stuffing really isn't my favorite and it looks like too much work to make from scratch. My other sides will be mashed potatoes and turkey gravy, some peas and raw carrots.
 I love setting the table all fancy for special days and a long time ago, before I was married, my mom bought me some Christmas china that has Christmas trees on each of the plates and also the mugs. I originally thought it was kind of juvenile but I'm excited to use it with my little family because the kids will love it, and honestly I've gotten to a point as an adult that I would rather the kids be excited to see a familiar plate each year than have the fanciest grown up china.
The dessert is probably up for grabs I may make a chocolate cream pie because it is Jared's favorite I love making pies because they are so pretty and really they aren't too difficult to put together, making the crust is probably the biggest pain in the whole process but other than that pie can be quite simple. I may make some Jell-O as a side/ dessert also only because the kids really like it.
All in all it is just fun to have my own family to share a yummy meal with and create some fond family memories.

My Salon

I'm excited to announce that my salon now has its own Facebook page. You can click on the following link to view and like the salon's page Canyon Clips and Color.

I've been cutting hair for well over 9 years now and it has been a really enjoyable profession. There is nothing quite like helping someone feel good about the way that they look. The other wonderful thing about my job is that I have been able to stay home with my 3 kids and yet still help provide for my little family, such a blessing! I know that I have some readers who have been my patrons for years and I really appreciate you support, Thanks guys! Be sure to like my page and I will hopefully be getting some fun holiday promotions up on it soon!

Artificial Colors

photo credit: http://slowrobot.com/i/43686


For the past month or so I have been reading more on the affects of artificial coloring in our foods. My boys already have some substantial allergies and I don't wish to add to their list or aggravate any more food sensitivities. Its a hard task especially since Halloween was not too long ago and the kids candy stockpiles are still around. Artificial colors are used in so many foods because they make the food look good, so it seems that they would be a very difficult thing to avoid. What I have chosen to avoid purchasing at the grocery store are cereals with obviously un-natural coloring, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (I've been buying Annie's Mac & Cheese because they don't use artificial colors or dyes)and any juice drinks that aren't strictly 100% fruit juice. Its a start and I know that there are still dyes and coloring in some of my other foods, but these are some big things that my kids like and consume more often then not. Do you have foods that you avoid as a mom?

Honesty

Hey all, I want to tell you what this blog is to me. For the past 6 years it has been a way for me to share my family growing up, share a portion of my struggles including the good parts in my life and try to do so in the most honest fashion I can come up with. Its been like a journal or therapy to me, I don't have close girlfriends anymore that I can readily drop by and see, but I have family, friends and complete strangers that comment or just read what I've written and it gives me a sense of connectedness that I must be severely lacking. I really appreciate blogs that tell the good, bad, and the ugly, those people who share what life is really like and don't gloss over some of their struggles because we all have struggles and it helps to know that I'm not alone. Maybe you feel this way too, maybe you don't, I'm not telling you how you should feel. In this blog I don't pretend to walk on water, yes I am LDS and I do feel that it means I should stand for good things, but I'm not perfect, I speak my mind, I swear, I'm a bad mom at times, I have tuff relationships that can make me into a mean person. What I say gets interpreted in whatever way the reader feels like it should be interpreted, I try to express that I am mad or being sarcastic when I am to help the reader along, but they will generally choose their own tone for the whole thing. I am not writing for church publications, I am not smart enough to even be considered for such things. But the point is that I write my feelings, especially the ones that nag at me and I just can't get off my chest in any other way. If I didn't I would be extremely burdened down and would have a hard time getting past the seemingly small things that want to pull me under.

Family Picture Time 2013

 My sweet sister took our family pictures again. We were racing the sunset so most of our pictures were taken at random places along Pleasant View Drive, but hey they we got a couple good ones for how little time we had!

 I love the colors in this one and I like how natural everyone looks

 not perfect because someone had a question I suppose, but not horrible :)

 best one of the boys together

And just to make sure you all know we are not the easiest family to take pictures of here is a sample of our outtakes for obvious reasons.... lol.

THE END, Happy Fall All!

Septembers Dinner Menu Plan

My parents recently bought and butchered a pig from the fair and we directly benefit from such butchering's :) . In trying to keep to a very structured budget I knew that I would need to make a monthly dinner menu and stick to it so we don't go over budget with food.  We like to eat good (doesn't everyone?) and I really don't mind making just about everything from scratch, its cheaper that way, so here is my dinner menu and links to some of the recipes I'm using for the rest of the month of September.
Date:
10- Sweet Pork Burritos (thanks mom and dad for the meat) http://www.imtopsyturvy.com/cafe-rio-smothered-burrito-recipes/
11-Sesame Chicken http://www.recipebest.com/2013/08/easy-sesame-chicken.html
12- Lemon Herbed Salmon and Potatoes
13- Parmesan Chicken on noodles http://www.chef-in-training.com/2012/01/crock-pot-chicken-parmesan/
14- Pork Carnitas http://www.mykitchenescapades.com/2012/11/pork-carnitas.html
15- Turkey Steak and fake potatoes
16- French Toast
17- Navaho Tacos
18- Hawaiian Haystacks
19- Pizza
20- Sweet Pork Burritos (from frozen leftover meat)
21- Hawaiian chicken http://www.savingyoudinero.com/2012/06/12/1-hour-1-mess-5-crock-pot-meals/
22- Pot roast w/red potatoes and carrots http://mychiclife.com/2013/07/19/slow-cooker-balsamic-pot-roast/
23- Beef Burritos (from left over pot roast meat)
24- Fettuccini Alfredo
25- Avocado Chicken Enchiladas http://www.sixsistersstuff.com/2013/06/avocado-chicken-enchiladas-recipe.html
26- Blueberry Pancakes
27- Mongolian Beef http://www.sixsistersstuff.com/2013/01/slow-cooker-mongolian-beef.html
28- Fried Chicken
29- Teriyaki Pork chops http://www.savingyoudinero.com/2012/06/12/1-hour-1-mess-5-crock-pot-meals/
30- Bean and Cheese Quesadillas

Jared is working most nights so what he won't be here to eat will be his dinner for the following night, he really hates breakfast for dinner so during the week I can throw those couple easy dinners in and he can have a sandwich or a frozen burrito the following day.

the happier post I promised

Jared was able to go to his physical on Monday and did pass the requirements. Tuesday (yesterday) he went to orientation for the job at AutoLiv. Today is his first day at work, the hours are accommodating for his school schedule which is such a blessing and he was able to start so soon! His pay will be better than Convergys and he will most likely get his 40 hours a week that will make all the difference in the world. I am so incredibly grateful for the quickness of the whole matter, everything had been set in motion before he was fired and I know that it was the Lords hand that put everything in place through the people we know.
Thank you everyone who has been so kind and sent your love and prayers our way. I've been brought to tears by the generosity of people who have chosen to be anonymous in their giving, even today I received a generous gift card in the mail, thank you, it will be put to good use.
Jared was told that he would have to work with the temp agency for 5 months before he could be hired on, but yesterday at orientation they told him it was only 90 days. The health insurance through the temp agency is far cheaper that what he was paying while working for Convergys, so there is another thing that will help tremendously, plus I will be insured again. For some reason at Convergys they got the crazy idea that I could get insurance through my employment and then dropped me from Jared's coverage. If you didn't know I am a self employed hair dresser and the last time I checked I'm not providing health coverage with my company. Its aggravating how little his last job did, but hopefully we will begin again on better terms with his new employment and just make ends meet!

its about to get real

Last night I bawled to my Heavenly Father, telling him how irresponsible I must look having three kids and not being able to feed them without some form of assistance. I asked for help to be able to provide the basic needs for my little family without being such a welfare case.
Today Jared was fired from his job, even though it was the shittiest job he has had yet, it still hurts. He was employed full time with Convergys but they rarely if ever gave him full time hours. His last paycheck for a full two weeks (that he was sent home early) amounted to $150 after taxes and insurance. I made more working for Artic Circle part time when I was 16 and I was making minimum wage at the time not 10.50 an hour.
The worse part though is watching the one you love feel worthless. We've been down this road, this poor guy has been through the ringer with employment. I know the bad things I think and I hate to imagine the thoughts of self doubt that could be playing through his mind.
So I look back to yesterday and it is almost comical that this is the response I get to my broken moment alone. Awesome! now we have no income! maybe its just time to roll over and give up. But you know I have a loving Heavenly Father who really knows that I couldn't take another terrible blow, and neither could my husband. Jared's been applying for MONTHS to get into a better position somewhere, ANYWHERE, and the past week he had a call back from SOS staffing for a job at AutoLiv in Brigham City. They have you come in and do certain testing in order to get the job and because he has school and used to have work on this coming Monday he would have had to wait another full week to get into the last part of the hiring process. But hey, now he doesn't have a dumb job to go to, and he can go the two days in a row that they need him for the physical test and orientation. Then hopefully in the short near future he will be a temporary employee of AutoLiv. Although there is still slight sadness and uncertainty, we definitely have HOPE. I keep thinking that everything happens for a reason and I hope to say that he will have a real job that will give him better pay and his full hours so we can just make our ends meet.
 Any prayers or good vibes sent our way would be greatly appreciated, I hope to share happier news next time I post.

Where are you bright side?

The bright side of today is that I got a warning from the cop who pulled me over. I could have gotten a $1,300 ticket for being late on my registration, but instead I got a "get it done within a week" warning. Lucky us, we have both cars due for registration the same month of July. I tried having Jared get his car done the other day but Jiffy Lube was booked for the night so it didn't get done. I on the other hand will have to get two new tires put on the van in order to pass safety inspection and get the darn thing registered so a MILLION dollars later (actually closer to $500, but that's still too much when your freaking destitute) I will be driving my car legally. So you kind of see why I have been putting it off? I'm just waiting for my money tree to really start growing... wait I can't afford one of those. Tonight I thought, hey I could just cry a bunch and sleep pretty good, or I can maybe blog about how crappy it is to have to register a car every year and save me a runny nose. Tomorrow I get to take 3 small children to sit in two different tiny smelly waiting rooms, I definitely wont be the object of envy. Then I am going to have to work for my mom for the rest of my freaking life to get the bill paid off, cars freaking suck. HAPPY HUMP DAY

Why canoeing with children isn't as fun as it looks...

 My aunt let us use her families canoes for a ride down the Big Springs river. Jared really didn't want to ever go canoeing again, he went for a high adventure scout thing when he was 16 and almost drown several times during the adventure. So you really can't blame him for not wanting to relive the experience that happened almost 20 years ago. But I thought lets get rid of that bad memory and replace it with a fun family canoeing trip... ya that didn't happen.

 See what Beckam is doing in this photo? ya he doesn't like to be confined to my arms especially when we are outdoors and near water. SO we let him ride with us on a canoe in a river.

 We originally thought we would have our whole family on a canoe, but makayla ended up riding with her aunt and uncles instead. She was lucky, and it was the only smart move we made at the beginning of the trip.

 We headed off on our adventure with some snacks to keep Konnor and Beckam happy.

 After about a half hour Beckam was not happy with his life jacket, or sitting on his mommy's lap while I helped row the canoe.

 Aunt Marijka's self portrait...

 Konnor on the other hand wanted to help row and often, shortly after starting we became the slowest moving canoe on the river. It was a special sort of hell, one kid was crying because he wanted to crawl into the water, the other kid was crying because he wanted to row the canoe, and we were going no where fast.

 Then if being dry riding on the longest canoe ride ever (at least two hours) wasn't the best we could do, it started to rain. AND we still couldn't see the end.

 It was so bad, it just kinda got funny. We would pass other people on rafts and say "how are you?" and they would say "were doing better than you are", and we would smile and say "yes you are".

 It turned out that we were on the river a whole hour longer than the three other canoes that were with us. I tried nursing Beckam to make him happy and then I would have to stop to help row because I just wanted to be done.

 Because we took so long we did get to see a baby moose and her mama grazing next to the river. I would have taken more photos but shortly after seeing them it started to rain, and Jared wasn't in the mood to watch wildlife any longer.

Lesson to be learned is nursing babies and 3 year olds are not good shipmates on long canoe adventures, just go with your spouse and no children if you want to enjoy it, or make sure the ride is a really short river.

Handmade Monster High Invites

My little girl has only had one friends birthday party her whole life, and that was when she turned one. Last year for her 5th birthday I would have liked to given her a party but we were new to our area and not only did we not really know anyone, it just wasn't gonna happen with a 3 week old baby. In a couple weeks she will be turning six and I am going to attempt my first real birthday party with 5,6, and 7 yr. olds. She has been to a billion birthday parties throughout this year, and has loved every single one, so hopefully I can manage a party that is not too lame! She is currently infatuated with Monster High everything, so guess what kind of party I get to plan? Its going to basically be a Halloween party in August, thank heavens for pinterest I've collected some good ideas of what to do. We spent about 4 hours Sunday creating her invitations, I wish they were more magical then they are but hey she is happy with them.

 I traced a large picture online of the monster high skull and used it as my pattern for the rest of the pieces. I did try looking for a cricut pattern first but there wasn't one exactly like the monster high logo, so we did it the free way.

 I used black construction paper and white printing paper, it was Sunday and I didn't care to wait to pick up nicer paper.

 Then we used my daughters glitter glue to make the bow for its head, we ran out of pink pretty quick so we used the other colors as you can see above. After the glue dried I traced the bow with a black marker, but I didn't do it to all of them, still debating if I will.

Then I wrote the parties details with a white crayon the back of the invite. TA DA! we have monster high invites :)

At war with myself

We came back from visiting my parents cabin this past weekend on Sunday afternoon, it was a fun little get away and like always it is good to be home. Unfortunately coming home also means facing the harsh reality of our finances. Money has been the topic of many discussions in this house hold and nothing has changed the past 6 months other than our savings is gone and any buffer we have is just about to its limit. Jared's job pays a pathetic $10.50 an hour and his take home pay has never been above $700 this whole time he has worked there. Our health insurance is a crap hole, one very expensive crap hole, that robs us of any semblance of a decent paycheck and in return gives us false hope of "health coverage". I'm pretty tight with our money, our luxuries if you will are having the internet and Jared has a smart phone, mine is still a dumb phone. We have never had cable in either of our houses, we could never afford it and I refuse to waste money on it. He keeps on the lookout for better job prospects but he hasn't had an interview yet with the many places he has applied. So what it comes down to is I need to find a way to bring in money. All the typical hair places are hiring around here, I have my home salon but it is still so slow that it can't be counted on as income, and most of the lovely hair salons around here want to pay stylists minimum wage. I have been at odds with myself during this whole process, there is so much more to it all then just making money. I honestly don't have anything against women working, I've worked in some form or another my whole life from 12 on up. We honestly could never afford daycare, and I would never go back to work full time unless something happened to Jared. We don't have any built in babysitters on either side of our families, they have all made it very clear that watching our kids is a burden. (which makes date night tricky and/or stressful). Here I am with a big decision to return to work for little pay or try to figure something else out. I think I have actually figured something else out, just so you know if I work a part time shift at 7.25 an hour for 4 hours I will bring in $29 before taxes. If I work the 16 hours maximum I could work a week with Jared's crazy schedule of when he is home I'd bring in $116 a week before taxes. Its something but I think I can do better for less hours away from my husband, by working for my mom cleaning and perhaps having my own building to clean. In the end I don't expect to really make more than $400 a month but I might surprise myself. I figure that this way I will be able to schedule my regular clients without a hitch and still be home with my kids and my husband during the few hours we can be together as a family. It will take slightly more planning on my part but it should be worth it in the end and hopefully be better for everyone.

I'm getting old

In less than a week I will be turning the ripe old age of 27. What's worse is that I have been telling people I'm 27 whenever they ask, so I really didn't own 26 yet. 27 is the age Jared was when I first met him and began dating him. We laugh because a friend of mine thought it was really old, but she's 27 now too and I'm sure she doesn't consider herself "that old" anymore than he did then. For several reasons I didn't really care that he was "so old" or that I was "so young", I think I have an old soul and time just kind of passes and I just feel way to mature or something. Jared definitely has more of a young soul so we balance each other out really well.

 Its funny how a marriage can define you, I count years of being married more than years of being alive. This seventh year of marriage has been one of the best years it seems. Maybe we are just finally figuring each other out, and I am no longer trying to change his ways. (or his ways have finally changed... lol.) . One thing I think that has helped recently is that he is finally working out and is no longer drinking Mountain Dew everyday. I've mellowed out quiet a bit too, I'm doing better at not over analyzing his every word and action, so I think that helps. I feel so much more love for him, he really is my best and closest friend in life. I sure hope it continues, you get to this point and your like, hey just don't rock the boat, and then sailing will continue to be smooth. Marriage isn't easy, I'd be the first to jump up and tell anyone that, but I guess anything that is worth doing in life isn't always gonna be easy.

My kids are really growing up so quickly before my eyes. While watching my little Beckam nap today I was like holy cow he is the size of a toddler now. Makayla will be six soon and she is just so grown up but so young and its so hard for me to figure out how to treat her or to remember that she is still just a little girl. Ugh I could be such a better mom. Konnor keeps me guessing and is so genuinely sweet, but also can be so maddening all within the same hour, he is so smart and independent that if he could he would write his own schedule for the day. Who knew three little people could keep you so busy?
Life is good, even when you are on the doorstep of 27.

Tales of the worst best friend

Hey all, I would just like to inform you that I am in fact the worlds worst friend. I'm just hoping that you were too busy with your own lives to notice, but in case you saved a spot for me that I certainly didn't fill, I am so deeply sorry. I've written this post several times in my head over the past year, but tonight it is eating at me so I'm going to let it go. By now you already know my circumstance and the way I behave, but to recap I am a crazy mother of three. I think of nice things I could do too often and most of the time I fail to do them. I wish I had a better excuse for not calling, texting, instant messaging or the like. I just don't have the energy, organizational skills, or un-awkward ability to make that call or communicate like I used to. My days consist of telling the same small people the same life saving advice over and over again. Then I follow after those small people and clean anything they have decided to undo and/or destroy. If I can manage, I run out to my backyard and weed like crazy in hopes that the plants I have lovingly put in the ground will some day provide more than just a small taste of big dreams. After a long day of a whole lot of nothing to show (other than were all here and accounted for) I get to sleep (sometimes) and wake up to do it all over again. But because those old relationships from times long gone mean still so much to me I catch myself thinking of you, worrying about what a dastardly bad friend I have most certainly proved to be and hope that someday in the future we can hang out/ talk/ or just plain see each other again. But until then if you have maybe been caught in your own beautiful chaos, I completely understand and love you just the same.
best wishes
your old friend- Zjani

Todays Thoughts

Loved the LDS General Conference last Saturday and Sunday, so many of the messages I needed to hear and I just loved spending the two days with my little family while we watched the session live online. In church today one of our lessons was about trials and what we have learned from having them. The teacher has several ladies stand up and share their own personal trials in life and the lessons that they took from some of them. A couple were or had been single moms, one had a history of abuse, sad things with her babies, and cancer to top it all off. Listening to what they had shared about their past really put into perspective my own trials (and how livable they are). But most of all I realized that I need to get to know and rely on my savior more than I do. I really believe that me and my family are never meant to be millionaires or even well off financially, its just not in the cards.. but we have always had our needs taken care of. Even when we had eaten all of our food storage and there was just nothing left we still survived and were able to move past that point in our lives. If you have followed my blog for some time you would know that my husband has been through lots (I mean lots) of jobs in our short 7 years of marriage. He has been great to take whatever job he could find and the longest he had ever gone without a job I believe was 2-3 weeks. He currently is employed but not getting the hours we so desperately need him to get. Luckily we have our tax return helping us pay the bills where his paycheck is just not. Needless to say it is stressful and worrisome, and when I think about it, it brings me down. Deep down though I know that it will all work out, if we continue on doing all that we can to support ourselves anything lacking will be met. I've had the lucky chance of experiencing this first hand so many times. I know that my Heavenly Father is watching over me and my little family and has an interest in me, just like he has an interest in you.

Milled Lentil Brownies

I made my first Gluten free recipe, I'm not GF but I did want to use my stockpiled bags of lentils. They turned out pretty huh? (they are actually good too). If you want to check out the recipe you can follow this link to my other blog and get the whole thing. http://searchforsimple.blogspot.com/2013/04/lentil-flour-brownies.html

Outdoor flock

Last night was the chicks first night outdoors, and I did not sleep well. It was like I had a newborn again and I had to keep getting up to make sure they were still breathing kind of thing. As you might be aware we are currently having a horrible cold front move through and dash away my hope for spring. They are in their nifty coop and I have the heat lamp secured to the ceiling of the interior of the coop, and they all survived their first night out of the basement. Today I purchased some wood shavings for the interior of the coop to make it more homey, warm and better smelling. I think they like it. I honestly would like it, I kind of want to cuddle up with them under the heat lamp and watch them sleep. We put an old thermostat out to the coop to check the temp, and the last reading tonight was 55... kind of cold... but warmer than the 25 degree's it is outside. I would be concerned if they were acting cold but they all looked like they were sunbathing in a comfortable pile of fluff. When chicks are cold and uncomfortable they huddle together tightly to try to get warm and sometimes they can be quiet noisy. Happy chicks are generally calm and can sleep nicely when they are ready to. When they are awake they are curious and active. I did block the ramp leading to the bottom of the coop just to keep as much warm air in the coop area as possible. Drafts are not the best thing for baby chicks but I'm unsure at what point in time drafts are not such a threat.

Chickens

Jared said that we would never have them, but here they are! We have six adorable new additions to our family. I've had chickens in the past when I was in Jr. High and I loved them, so I've always wanted to have them again. When Jared was younger he helped with the church chicken coop on occasions and it stunk, so he has always hated chickens. Its a small miracle that we got to pick them up and bring them home!

 We picked out a collection of breeds, one Barred Plymouth Rock chicken, one Golden Sex-Link, Two Buff  Orpingtons, one white Leghorn, and one Ameraucana chick.

 They are happily enjoying a small space in the basement until they get all of their grown up feathers, or stink too bad, in which case they will be residing outside in the coop.

 since they are small and there is only six of them, they fit nicely in an empty rubbermaid bin

 This chunky chick is the Ameraucana, she will be laying blue or green eggs in the future :)

 Here is the Barred Plymouth rock Chick, I've always wanted a whole bunch of these girls because I love their feather coloring. She will have light to medium brown eggs with a touch of pink.

 This sister is a Golden Sex-Link Chick, which is a cross between a Road Island Red and Road Island White. She will have brown eggs also.

 Here are the twins, both Buff Orpingtons. They should be quite fluffy when they are older and are supposed to be docile and good with children. They will both lay light brown eggs.

 and lastly is the white Leghorn, I've owned them in the past and this is the breed that lays most grocery store white eggs. They are good layers, and mature quickly.

 instead of fashioning our own coop, we bought one that you just put together. It was the cheapest coop to purchase and it have everything we need. We got it from Cal-Ranch for 219.00. So if the chickens live forever eventually they will pay for themselves right?

 whats really cool is that the kids can easily lift up the nesting box lid and collect eggs all by themselves!

I'd like to put some wheels on one end of the coupe so I can move them around to a new area for easy clean up of the coop. This coop also has a pull out tray under the roosting bars for easy cleaning, if you've ever cleaned out a coop you will know that this is a pleasant feature.