I read someones pin on 10 things parents should do to connect better with thier kids. I feel like I am a mom who really needs such advice. Most days I am only half aware of the things I say or what is really going on beyond the task I am focused on getting done (I'm so distracted), and I hate it. I really don't want to be that type of parent, but it discribes me. I want to be a parent that my kids will feel like they can talk to and be heard. I get so emotionally disconnected to my older children when I have a new baby, I feel like I'm admitting to a terrible crime... its not a pretty thing to admit or say outloud. I do really well with my babies, but I loosen my nurturing mothering skills with the older kids and replace it with survival mode. I can provide the basics... food, clothing, bedtime, damage control, but emotionally I am a wall. I hate jobs left undone, so I feel like my whole day is running around the house cleaning, and I think everyone knows that with young kids it never is really gonna ever be clean. So i kinda feel like a crazy robot, and a robot would be the way I express my emotions during the day.
I've been walking Makayla everyday to kindergarten, we plan a good 30 minutes to walk there and be on time. The exercise and sunshine has helped tons with my stress, and I hope to start adding running in somewhere to further improve my mood. Both the time spent walking without distraction, and my daughter having kindergarten to talk about, I think has helped me find more of a way to connect with her. I have something to ask her about each day, and I have 30 minutes that I'm not distracted to talk with her on the way to school. I'm hoping this will improve our relationship (not because she doesn't like me) (just because I am a sub par mom) and get me out of my robot emotion.
Do you ever feel like your just going through the motions? Anything that helps? I have a couple new ideas - setting aside 15 minutes for each of my two older kids each day to just do or play what they want to and to just be there in my head. - Hug and cuddle with them when they come close and seem to need attention. - let go of some of the chores and tasks that dominate my time, also reduce the time spent distracted on the Internet to after hours when all is asleep. I'll have to let you know how it all works.
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When I'm "stuck" being bossed around by Aspen all day long, I wonder if every other mom on the planet lets their kid force them to play trains for an hour every day. Or color a certain way. Or dance ring-around-the-rosy until puking.
I need to find a better balance as well, but for ME. I go into survival mode trying to get through the endless hours of being Aspen's only playmate. So even though I'm spending all this time with her, I'm not always there because I get so sick of having toys thrown at me.
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