whats happened- a picture update

 This summer we bought a very fine swimming pool for the kids to cool off in and they loved it.

 The kids being bored in our dessert of a backyard found some "sand" to keep them busy until we finally installed a real sand box. They would need baths multiple times a day because of their discovered sand box and you can see why.

 I actually let them paint with their finger paints, this is picture proof.

 my little guy keeps growing...

 and growing

 We went to the peach day parades, Konnor took a nasty spill about a week before and this a remnant of his facial damage. He loved the parades, he makes the little things so enjoyable because he is always so excited and says such silly things.

 Our place for the peach day parade, such a pretty backdrop, for the longest parade I have ever attended. We left when there were still 23 more entries to go!

 Me and the kids visited the cabin, my mom really didn't want to be in the picture, I guess that I'll have to be more sneaky next time.

 My pretty blue eyed girl

 Blake helped Konnor shoot the BB gun while we were up there, Konnor thought that was really cool.

 taking a ride on the quads

 Makayla turned 5 and the Monday before her birthday we went as a family to color-me-mine where she painted a ceramic princess, and Konnor painted a lady bug bank that he picked out.

 Birthday Girl!

 Konnor painting his bank

 My first attempt at frosting a cake with homemade fondant, she loved her cake!

 We had a tea party in place of breakfast for Makayla's birthday, the kids thought it was neat.

 We celebrated further by attending Box Elder County Fair.

and that is what has happened in the past 2 months that I hadn't shared yet.

i've met my match

Three kids is hard... three kids that don't sleep during the day is way hard. My little guy is a difficult one to read, the other two were really quite happy babies. Beckam is more sad, and I'm not sure if its just that he is overtired from only taking cat naps or if I'm just not doing something right. One really great point about him is that he sleeps really well at night, he typically just gets up once around 4-6 and eats and then goes back to sleep. So I am one well rested momma, totally opposite of how i was with Konnor. thank heavens for binkys, he luckily will take one most of the time.
 this past Saturday we made a sandbox for the kids and it has been a hit with the kids. before we built it I made some dinosaur fossils out of cement on the ground for them to practice being paleontologists.
 Makayla is still enjoying school, she missed a couple days because we went to the cabin for a short vacation with my mom and two youngest brothers. Montana is so pretty in the fall, i really would love to live up there someday.
I am achieving my orchard dream, I bought two more trees for the backyard on Saturday, one cherry one peach. we planted two apple a couple of weeks ago. To be specific one cameo apple, one breaburn apple, white princess peach, and montmorency cherry tree. I'm so excited to be a small time farmer. My little dessert of a backyard is really coming along to something nice.
I really don't feel like I do much during the day, I feel like I'm one handed. That's why I say I've met my match. He is a beautiful speed bump, but it is taking me forever to do anything in this house. I'm glad I got what I got done before he arrived because even the little projects are just not possible at this point. Things change quickly with little ones so perhaps in a month I'll get my groove back.

Disconnected mom

I read someones pin on 10 things parents should do to connect better with thier kids. I feel like I am a mom who really needs such advice. Most days I am only half aware of the things I say or what is really going on beyond the task I am focused on getting done (I'm so distracted), and I hate it. I really don't want to be that type of parent, but it discribes me. I want to be a parent that my kids will feel like they can talk to and be heard. I get so emotionally disconnected to my older children when I have a new baby, I feel like I'm admitting to a terrible crime... its not a pretty thing to admit or say outloud. I do really well with my babies, but I loosen my nurturing mothering skills with the older kids and replace it with survival mode. I can provide the basics... food, clothing, bedtime, damage control, but emotionally I am a wall. I hate jobs left undone, so I feel like my whole day is running around the house cleaning, and I think everyone knows that with young kids it never is really gonna ever be clean. So i kinda feel like a crazy robot, and a robot would be the way I express my emotions during the day.
I've been walking Makayla everyday to kindergarten, we plan a good 30 minutes to walk there and be on time. The exercise and sunshine has helped tons with my stress, and I hope to start adding running in somewhere to further improve my mood. Both the time spent walking without distraction, and my daughter having kindergarten to talk about, I think has helped me find more of a way to connect with her. I have something to ask her about each day, and I have 30 minutes that I'm not distracted to talk with her on the way to school. I'm hoping this will improve our relationship (not because she doesn't like me) (just because I am a sub par mom) and get me out of my robot emotion.
Do you ever feel like your just going through the motions? Anything that helps? I have a couple new ideas - setting aside 15 minutes for each of my two older kids each day to just do or play what they want to and to just be there in my head. - Hug and cuddle with them when they come close and seem to need attention. - let go of some of the chores and tasks that dominate my time, also reduce the time spent distracted on the Internet to after hours when all is asleep. I'll have to let you know how it all works.