its about to get real

Last night I bawled to my Heavenly Father, telling him how irresponsible I must look having three kids and not being able to feed them without some form of assistance. I asked for help to be able to provide the basic needs for my little family without being such a welfare case.
Today Jared was fired from his job, even though it was the shittiest job he has had yet, it still hurts. He was employed full time with Convergys but they rarely if ever gave him full time hours. His last paycheck for a full two weeks (that he was sent home early) amounted to $150 after taxes and insurance. I made more working for Artic Circle part time when I was 16 and I was making minimum wage at the time not 10.50 an hour.
The worse part though is watching the one you love feel worthless. We've been down this road, this poor guy has been through the ringer with employment. I know the bad things I think and I hate to imagine the thoughts of self doubt that could be playing through his mind.
So I look back to yesterday and it is almost comical that this is the response I get to my broken moment alone. Awesome! now we have no income! maybe its just time to roll over and give up. But you know I have a loving Heavenly Father who really knows that I couldn't take another terrible blow, and neither could my husband. Jared's been applying for MONTHS to get into a better position somewhere, ANYWHERE, and the past week he had a call back from SOS staffing for a job at AutoLiv in Brigham City. They have you come in and do certain testing in order to get the job and because he has school and used to have work on this coming Monday he would have had to wait another full week to get into the last part of the hiring process. But hey, now he doesn't have a dumb job to go to, and he can go the two days in a row that they need him for the physical test and orientation. Then hopefully in the short near future he will be a temporary employee of AutoLiv. Although there is still slight sadness and uncertainty, we definitely have HOPE. I keep thinking that everything happens for a reason and I hope to say that he will have a real job that will give him better pay and his full hours so we can just make our ends meet.
 Any prayers or good vibes sent our way would be greatly appreciated, I hope to share happier news next time I post.