Hey all, I would just like to inform you that I am in fact the worlds worst friend. I'm just hoping that you were too busy with your own lives to notice, but in case you saved a spot for me that I certainly didn't fill, I am so deeply sorry. I've written this post several times in my head over the past year, but tonight it is eating at me so I'm going to let it go. By now you already know my circumstance and the way I behave, but to recap I am a crazy mother of three. I think of nice things I could do too often and most of the time I fail to do them. I wish I had a better excuse for not calling, texting, instant messaging or the like. I just don't have the energy, organizational skills, or un-awkward ability to make that call or communicate like I used to. My days consist of telling the same small people the same life saving advice over and over again. Then I follow after those small people and clean anything they have decided to undo and/or destroy. If I can manage, I run out to my backyard and weed like crazy in hopes that the plants I have lovingly put in the ground will some day provide more than just a small taste of big dreams. After a long day of a whole lot of nothing to show (other than were all here and accounted for) I get to sleep (sometimes) and wake up to do it all over again. But because those old relationships from times long gone mean still so much to me I catch myself thinking of you, worrying about what a dastardly bad friend I have most certainly proved to be and hope that someday in the future we can hang out/ talk/ or just plain see each other again. But until then if you have maybe been caught in your own beautiful chaos, I completely understand and love you just the same.
best wishes
your old friend- Zjani
