the happier post I promised

Jared was able to go to his physical on Monday and did pass the requirements. Tuesday (yesterday) he went to orientation for the job at AutoLiv. Today is his first day at work, the hours are accommodating for his school schedule which is such a blessing and he was able to start so soon! His pay will be better than Convergys and he will most likely get his 40 hours a week that will make all the difference in the world. I am so incredibly grateful for the quickness of the whole matter, everything had been set in motion before he was fired and I know that it was the Lords hand that put everything in place through the people we know.
Thank you everyone who has been so kind and sent your love and prayers our way. I've been brought to tears by the generosity of people who have chosen to be anonymous in their giving, even today I received a generous gift card in the mail, thank you, it will be put to good use.
Jared was told that he would have to work with the temp agency for 5 months before he could be hired on, but yesterday at orientation they told him it was only 90 days. The health insurance through the temp agency is far cheaper that what he was paying while working for Convergys, so there is another thing that will help tremendously, plus I will be insured again. For some reason at Convergys they got the crazy idea that I could get insurance through my employment and then dropped me from Jared's coverage. If you didn't know I am a self employed hair dresser and the last time I checked I'm not providing health coverage with my company. Its aggravating how little his last job did, but hopefully we will begin again on better terms with his new employment and just make ends meet!

its about to get real

Last night I bawled to my Heavenly Father, telling him how irresponsible I must look having three kids and not being able to feed them without some form of assistance. I asked for help to be able to provide the basic needs for my little family without being such a welfare case.
Today Jared was fired from his job, even though it was the shittiest job he has had yet, it still hurts. He was employed full time with Convergys but they rarely if ever gave him full time hours. His last paycheck for a full two weeks (that he was sent home early) amounted to $150 after taxes and insurance. I made more working for Artic Circle part time when I was 16 and I was making minimum wage at the time not 10.50 an hour.
The worse part though is watching the one you love feel worthless. We've been down this road, this poor guy has been through the ringer with employment. I know the bad things I think and I hate to imagine the thoughts of self doubt that could be playing through his mind.
So I look back to yesterday and it is almost comical that this is the response I get to my broken moment alone. Awesome! now we have no income! maybe its just time to roll over and give up. But you know I have a loving Heavenly Father who really knows that I couldn't take another terrible blow, and neither could my husband. Jared's been applying for MONTHS to get into a better position somewhere, ANYWHERE, and the past week he had a call back from SOS staffing for a job at AutoLiv in Brigham City. They have you come in and do certain testing in order to get the job and because he has school and used to have work on this coming Monday he would have had to wait another full week to get into the last part of the hiring process. But hey, now he doesn't have a dumb job to go to, and he can go the two days in a row that they need him for the physical test and orientation. Then hopefully in the short near future he will be a temporary employee of AutoLiv. Although there is still slight sadness and uncertainty, we definitely have HOPE. I keep thinking that everything happens for a reason and I hope to say that he will have a real job that will give him better pay and his full hours so we can just make our ends meet.
 Any prayers or good vibes sent our way would be greatly appreciated, I hope to share happier news next time I post.

Where are you bright side?

The bright side of today is that I got a warning from the cop who pulled me over. I could have gotten a $1,300 ticket for being late on my registration, but instead I got a "get it done within a week" warning. Lucky us, we have both cars due for registration the same month of July. I tried having Jared get his car done the other day but Jiffy Lube was booked for the night so it didn't get done. I on the other hand will have to get two new tires put on the van in order to pass safety inspection and get the darn thing registered so a MILLION dollars later (actually closer to $500, but that's still too much when your freaking destitute) I will be driving my car legally. So you kind of see why I have been putting it off? I'm just waiting for my money tree to really start growing... wait I can't afford one of those. Tonight I thought, hey I could just cry a bunch and sleep pretty good, or I can maybe blog about how crappy it is to have to register a car every year and save me a runny nose. Tomorrow I get to take 3 small children to sit in two different tiny smelly waiting rooms, I definitely wont be the object of envy. Then I am going to have to work for my mom for the rest of my freaking life to get the bill paid off, cars freaking suck. HAPPY HUMP DAY

Why canoeing with children isn't as fun as it looks...

 My aunt let us use her families canoes for a ride down the Big Springs river. Jared really didn't want to ever go canoeing again, he went for a high adventure scout thing when he was 16 and almost drown several times during the adventure. So you really can't blame him for not wanting to relive the experience that happened almost 20 years ago. But I thought lets get rid of that bad memory and replace it with a fun family canoeing trip... ya that didn't happen.

 See what Beckam is doing in this photo? ya he doesn't like to be confined to my arms especially when we are outdoors and near water. SO we let him ride with us on a canoe in a river.

 We originally thought we would have our whole family on a canoe, but makayla ended up riding with her aunt and uncles instead. She was lucky, and it was the only smart move we made at the beginning of the trip.

 We headed off on our adventure with some snacks to keep Konnor and Beckam happy.

 After about a half hour Beckam was not happy with his life jacket, or sitting on his mommy's lap while I helped row the canoe.

 Aunt Marijka's self portrait...

 Konnor on the other hand wanted to help row and often, shortly after starting we became the slowest moving canoe on the river. It was a special sort of hell, one kid was crying because he wanted to crawl into the water, the other kid was crying because he wanted to row the canoe, and we were going no where fast.

 Then if being dry riding on the longest canoe ride ever (at least two hours) wasn't the best we could do, it started to rain. AND we still couldn't see the end.

 It was so bad, it just kinda got funny. We would pass other people on rafts and say "how are you?" and they would say "were doing better than you are", and we would smile and say "yes you are".

 It turned out that we were on the river a whole hour longer than the three other canoes that were with us. I tried nursing Beckam to make him happy and then I would have to stop to help row because I just wanted to be done.

 Because we took so long we did get to see a baby moose and her mama grazing next to the river. I would have taken more photos but shortly after seeing them it started to rain, and Jared wasn't in the mood to watch wildlife any longer.

Lesson to be learned is nursing babies and 3 year olds are not good shipmates on long canoe adventures, just go with your spouse and no children if you want to enjoy it, or make sure the ride is a really short river.

Handmade Monster High Invites

My little girl has only had one friends birthday party her whole life, and that was when she turned one. Last year for her 5th birthday I would have liked to given her a party but we were new to our area and not only did we not really know anyone, it just wasn't gonna happen with a 3 week old baby. In a couple weeks she will be turning six and I am going to attempt my first real birthday party with 5,6, and 7 yr. olds. She has been to a billion birthday parties throughout this year, and has loved every single one, so hopefully I can manage a party that is not too lame! She is currently infatuated with Monster High everything, so guess what kind of party I get to plan? Its going to basically be a Halloween party in August, thank heavens for pinterest I've collected some good ideas of what to do. We spent about 4 hours Sunday creating her invitations, I wish they were more magical then they are but hey she is happy with them.

 I traced a large picture online of the monster high skull and used it as my pattern for the rest of the pieces. I did try looking for a cricut pattern first but there wasn't one exactly like the monster high logo, so we did it the free way.

 I used black construction paper and white printing paper, it was Sunday and I didn't care to wait to pick up nicer paper.

 Then we used my daughters glitter glue to make the bow for its head, we ran out of pink pretty quick so we used the other colors as you can see above. After the glue dried I traced the bow with a black marker, but I didn't do it to all of them, still debating if I will.

Then I wrote the parties details with a white crayon the back of the invite. TA DA! we have monster high invites :)

At war with myself

We came back from visiting my parents cabin this past weekend on Sunday afternoon, it was a fun little get away and like always it is good to be home. Unfortunately coming home also means facing the harsh reality of our finances. Money has been the topic of many discussions in this house hold and nothing has changed the past 6 months other than our savings is gone and any buffer we have is just about to its limit. Jared's job pays a pathetic $10.50 an hour and his take home pay has never been above $700 this whole time he has worked there. Our health insurance is a crap hole, one very expensive crap hole, that robs us of any semblance of a decent paycheck and in return gives us false hope of "health coverage". I'm pretty tight with our money, our luxuries if you will are having the internet and Jared has a smart phone, mine is still a dumb phone. We have never had cable in either of our houses, we could never afford it and I refuse to waste money on it. He keeps on the lookout for better job prospects but he hasn't had an interview yet with the many places he has applied. So what it comes down to is I need to find a way to bring in money. All the typical hair places are hiring around here, I have my home salon but it is still so slow that it can't be counted on as income, and most of the lovely hair salons around here want to pay stylists minimum wage. I have been at odds with myself during this whole process, there is so much more to it all then just making money. I honestly don't have anything against women working, I've worked in some form or another my whole life from 12 on up. We honestly could never afford daycare, and I would never go back to work full time unless something happened to Jared. We don't have any built in babysitters on either side of our families, they have all made it very clear that watching our kids is a burden. (which makes date night tricky and/or stressful). Here I am with a big decision to return to work for little pay or try to figure something else out. I think I have actually figured something else out, just so you know if I work a part time shift at 7.25 an hour for 4 hours I will bring in $29 before taxes. If I work the 16 hours maximum I could work a week with Jared's crazy schedule of when he is home I'd bring in $116 a week before taxes. Its something but I think I can do better for less hours away from my husband, by working for my mom cleaning and perhaps having my own building to clean. In the end I don't expect to really make more than $400 a month but I might surprise myself. I figure that this way I will be able to schedule my regular clients without a hitch and still be home with my kids and my husband during the few hours we can be together as a family. It will take slightly more planning on my part but it should be worth it in the end and hopefully be better for everyone.

I'm getting old

In less than a week I will be turning the ripe old age of 27. What's worse is that I have been telling people I'm 27 whenever they ask, so I really didn't own 26 yet. 27 is the age Jared was when I first met him and began dating him. We laugh because a friend of mine thought it was really old, but she's 27 now too and I'm sure she doesn't consider herself "that old" anymore than he did then. For several reasons I didn't really care that he was "so old" or that I was "so young", I think I have an old soul and time just kind of passes and I just feel way to mature or something. Jared definitely has more of a young soul so we balance each other out really well.

 Its funny how a marriage can define you, I count years of being married more than years of being alive. This seventh year of marriage has been one of the best years it seems. Maybe we are just finally figuring each other out, and I am no longer trying to change his ways. (or his ways have finally changed... lol.) . One thing I think that has helped recently is that he is finally working out and is no longer drinking Mountain Dew everyday. I've mellowed out quiet a bit too, I'm doing better at not over analyzing his every word and action, so I think that helps. I feel so much more love for him, he really is my best and closest friend in life. I sure hope it continues, you get to this point and your like, hey just don't rock the boat, and then sailing will continue to be smooth. Marriage isn't easy, I'd be the first to jump up and tell anyone that, but I guess anything that is worth doing in life isn't always gonna be easy.

My kids are really growing up so quickly before my eyes. While watching my little Beckam nap today I was like holy cow he is the size of a toddler now. Makayla will be six soon and she is just so grown up but so young and its so hard for me to figure out how to treat her or to remember that she is still just a little girl. Ugh I could be such a better mom. Konnor keeps me guessing and is so genuinely sweet, but also can be so maddening all within the same hour, he is so smart and independent that if he could he would write his own schedule for the day. Who knew three little people could keep you so busy?
Life is good, even when you are on the doorstep of 27.