Why canoeing with children isn't as fun as it looks...

 My aunt let us use her families canoes for a ride down the Big Springs river. Jared really didn't want to ever go canoeing again, he went for a high adventure scout thing when he was 16 and almost drown several times during the adventure. So you really can't blame him for not wanting to relive the experience that happened almost 20 years ago. But I thought lets get rid of that bad memory and replace it with a fun family canoeing trip... ya that didn't happen.

 See what Beckam is doing in this photo? ya he doesn't like to be confined to my arms especially when we are outdoors and near water. SO we let him ride with us on a canoe in a river.

 We originally thought we would have our whole family on a canoe, but makayla ended up riding with her aunt and uncles instead. She was lucky, and it was the only smart move we made at the beginning of the trip.

 We headed off on our adventure with some snacks to keep Konnor and Beckam happy.

 After about a half hour Beckam was not happy with his life jacket, or sitting on his mommy's lap while I helped row the canoe.

 Aunt Marijka's self portrait...

 Konnor on the other hand wanted to help row and often, shortly after starting we became the slowest moving canoe on the river. It was a special sort of hell, one kid was crying because he wanted to crawl into the water, the other kid was crying because he wanted to row the canoe, and we were going no where fast.

 Then if being dry riding on the longest canoe ride ever (at least two hours) wasn't the best we could do, it started to rain. AND we still couldn't see the end.

 It was so bad, it just kinda got funny. We would pass other people on rafts and say "how are you?" and they would say "were doing better than you are", and we would smile and say "yes you are".

 It turned out that we were on the river a whole hour longer than the three other canoes that were with us. I tried nursing Beckam to make him happy and then I would have to stop to help row because I just wanted to be done.

 Because we took so long we did get to see a baby moose and her mama grazing next to the river. I would have taken more photos but shortly after seeing them it started to rain, and Jared wasn't in the mood to watch wildlife any longer.

Lesson to be learned is nursing babies and 3 year olds are not good shipmates on long canoe adventures, just go with your spouse and no children if you want to enjoy it, or make sure the ride is a really short river.

Handmade Monster High Invites

My little girl has only had one friends birthday party her whole life, and that was when she turned one. Last year for her 5th birthday I would have liked to given her a party but we were new to our area and not only did we not really know anyone, it just wasn't gonna happen with a 3 week old baby. In a couple weeks she will be turning six and I am going to attempt my first real birthday party with 5,6, and 7 yr. olds. She has been to a billion birthday parties throughout this year, and has loved every single one, so hopefully I can manage a party that is not too lame! She is currently infatuated with Monster High everything, so guess what kind of party I get to plan? Its going to basically be a Halloween party in August, thank heavens for pinterest I've collected some good ideas of what to do. We spent about 4 hours Sunday creating her invitations, I wish they were more magical then they are but hey she is happy with them.

 I traced a large picture online of the monster high skull and used it as my pattern for the rest of the pieces. I did try looking for a cricut pattern first but there wasn't one exactly like the monster high logo, so we did it the free way.

 I used black construction paper and white printing paper, it was Sunday and I didn't care to wait to pick up nicer paper.

 Then we used my daughters glitter glue to make the bow for its head, we ran out of pink pretty quick so we used the other colors as you can see above. After the glue dried I traced the bow with a black marker, but I didn't do it to all of them, still debating if I will.

Then I wrote the parties details with a white crayon the back of the invite. TA DA! we have monster high invites :)

At war with myself

We came back from visiting my parents cabin this past weekend on Sunday afternoon, it was a fun little get away and like always it is good to be home. Unfortunately coming home also means facing the harsh reality of our finances. Money has been the topic of many discussions in this house hold and nothing has changed the past 6 months other than our savings is gone and any buffer we have is just about to its limit. Jared's job pays a pathetic $10.50 an hour and his take home pay has never been above $700 this whole time he has worked there. Our health insurance is a crap hole, one very expensive crap hole, that robs us of any semblance of a decent paycheck and in return gives us false hope of "health coverage". I'm pretty tight with our money, our luxuries if you will are having the internet and Jared has a smart phone, mine is still a dumb phone. We have never had cable in either of our houses, we could never afford it and I refuse to waste money on it. He keeps on the lookout for better job prospects but he hasn't had an interview yet with the many places he has applied. So what it comes down to is I need to find a way to bring in money. All the typical hair places are hiring around here, I have my home salon but it is still so slow that it can't be counted on as income, and most of the lovely hair salons around here want to pay stylists minimum wage. I have been at odds with myself during this whole process, there is so much more to it all then just making money. I honestly don't have anything against women working, I've worked in some form or another my whole life from 12 on up. We honestly could never afford daycare, and I would never go back to work full time unless something happened to Jared. We don't have any built in babysitters on either side of our families, they have all made it very clear that watching our kids is a burden. (which makes date night tricky and/or stressful). Here I am with a big decision to return to work for little pay or try to figure something else out. I think I have actually figured something else out, just so you know if I work a part time shift at 7.25 an hour for 4 hours I will bring in $29 before taxes. If I work the 16 hours maximum I could work a week with Jared's crazy schedule of when he is home I'd bring in $116 a week before taxes. Its something but I think I can do better for less hours away from my husband, by working for my mom cleaning and perhaps having my own building to clean. In the end I don't expect to really make more than $400 a month but I might surprise myself. I figure that this way I will be able to schedule my regular clients without a hitch and still be home with my kids and my husband during the few hours we can be together as a family. It will take slightly more planning on my part but it should be worth it in the end and hopefully be better for everyone.

I'm getting old

In less than a week I will be turning the ripe old age of 27. What's worse is that I have been telling people I'm 27 whenever they ask, so I really didn't own 26 yet. 27 is the age Jared was when I first met him and began dating him. We laugh because a friend of mine thought it was really old, but she's 27 now too and I'm sure she doesn't consider herself "that old" anymore than he did then. For several reasons I didn't really care that he was "so old" or that I was "so young", I think I have an old soul and time just kind of passes and I just feel way to mature or something. Jared definitely has more of a young soul so we balance each other out really well.

 Its funny how a marriage can define you, I count years of being married more than years of being alive. This seventh year of marriage has been one of the best years it seems. Maybe we are just finally figuring each other out, and I am no longer trying to change his ways. (or his ways have finally changed... lol.) . One thing I think that has helped recently is that he is finally working out and is no longer drinking Mountain Dew everyday. I've mellowed out quiet a bit too, I'm doing better at not over analyzing his every word and action, so I think that helps. I feel so much more love for him, he really is my best and closest friend in life. I sure hope it continues, you get to this point and your like, hey just don't rock the boat, and then sailing will continue to be smooth. Marriage isn't easy, I'd be the first to jump up and tell anyone that, but I guess anything that is worth doing in life isn't always gonna be easy.

My kids are really growing up so quickly before my eyes. While watching my little Beckam nap today I was like holy cow he is the size of a toddler now. Makayla will be six soon and she is just so grown up but so young and its so hard for me to figure out how to treat her or to remember that she is still just a little girl. Ugh I could be such a better mom. Konnor keeps me guessing and is so genuinely sweet, but also can be so maddening all within the same hour, he is so smart and independent that if he could he would write his own schedule for the day. Who knew three little people could keep you so busy?
Life is good, even when you are on the doorstep of 27.

Tales of the worst best friend

Hey all, I would just like to inform you that I am in fact the worlds worst friend. I'm just hoping that you were too busy with your own lives to notice, but in case you saved a spot for me that I certainly didn't fill, I am so deeply sorry. I've written this post several times in my head over the past year, but tonight it is eating at me so I'm going to let it go. By now you already know my circumstance and the way I behave, but to recap I am a crazy mother of three. I think of nice things I could do too often and most of the time I fail to do them. I wish I had a better excuse for not calling, texting, instant messaging or the like. I just don't have the energy, organizational skills, or un-awkward ability to make that call or communicate like I used to. My days consist of telling the same small people the same life saving advice over and over again. Then I follow after those small people and clean anything they have decided to undo and/or destroy. If I can manage, I run out to my backyard and weed like crazy in hopes that the plants I have lovingly put in the ground will some day provide more than just a small taste of big dreams. After a long day of a whole lot of nothing to show (other than were all here and accounted for) I get to sleep (sometimes) and wake up to do it all over again. But because those old relationships from times long gone mean still so much to me I catch myself thinking of you, worrying about what a dastardly bad friend I have most certainly proved to be and hope that someday in the future we can hang out/ talk/ or just plain see each other again. But until then if you have maybe been caught in your own beautiful chaos, I completely understand and love you just the same.
best wishes
your old friend- Zjani

Todays Thoughts

Loved the LDS General Conference last Saturday and Sunday, so many of the messages I needed to hear and I just loved spending the two days with my little family while we watched the session live online. In church today one of our lessons was about trials and what we have learned from having them. The teacher has several ladies stand up and share their own personal trials in life and the lessons that they took from some of them. A couple were or had been single moms, one had a history of abuse, sad things with her babies, and cancer to top it all off. Listening to what they had shared about their past really put into perspective my own trials (and how livable they are). But most of all I realized that I need to get to know and rely on my savior more than I do. I really believe that me and my family are never meant to be millionaires or even well off financially, its just not in the cards.. but we have always had our needs taken care of. Even when we had eaten all of our food storage and there was just nothing left we still survived and were able to move past that point in our lives. If you have followed my blog for some time you would know that my husband has been through lots (I mean lots) of jobs in our short 7 years of marriage. He has been great to take whatever job he could find and the longest he had ever gone without a job I believe was 2-3 weeks. He currently is employed but not getting the hours we so desperately need him to get. Luckily we have our tax return helping us pay the bills where his paycheck is just not. Needless to say it is stressful and worrisome, and when I think about it, it brings me down. Deep down though I know that it will all work out, if we continue on doing all that we can to support ourselves anything lacking will be met. I've had the lucky chance of experiencing this first hand so many times. I know that my Heavenly Father is watching over me and my little family and has an interest in me, just like he has an interest in you.

Milled Lentil Brownies

I made my first Gluten free recipe, I'm not GF but I did want to use my stockpiled bags of lentils. They turned out pretty huh? (they are actually good too). If you want to check out the recipe you can follow this link to my other blog and get the whole thing. http://searchforsimple.blogspot.com/2013/04/lentil-flour-brownies.html