So today i was met with a proposition from a lady in my ward. There is a Salon in Bountiful that really needs stylists otherwise it will have to close its doors. This particular salon also has a daycare attached to it. Curently my own schedule is that I work from my home salon tuesday nights and Saturday Days, this used to be during the time that Jared would be home to watch Makayla while i kept up my clientel. Since Jareds job losses, he has been working two jobs one taking up most of the day on saturdays and the other really never working with my tuesday night plans although i continue to work those same hours i just have to balance everything perfectly so i can. I try my hardest to schedule the off day random hair appointment when Makayla is sleeping so that i can be as professional as possible and not take any time away from her. When this lady first explained everything to me i was thinking i can do that a couple days a week and Makayla will be right there and i can constantly check on her. Now I'd be solely doing this for the money, Jareds paychecks have been pathetic (honesty, i must be honest) and really he is not getting enough hours or pay to even make close to what our financial demands are (and this is totally not considering anything that doesn't have a due date such as groceries, clothes, gasoline) (and we stand in need of some of those things). By many miracles we have made it this far but i seriously am worried about the summer. So from all this you can easily say well Zjani get another job that sounds like the best thing for you guys right now. But tonight I am having a hard time making that decision, and its not because i hate the idea of work i'm a very hard worker even when i'm not employed, its because even though Makayla would be in the next room i still wouldn't be the one there for her, and that is so very important for me. I dont like taking her to the daycare at the gym, i cant explain to her that i will be back shortly yet. I couldn't work past the end of November so that kinda makes me not very reliable but i really dont want a permanent position. It would be whatever schedule i please and i wouldn't want to work more than 3 days a week cuz that puts me at 5 working days, not including the night cleaning. What i really want to say is Jared get a third job this isnt cutting it, i dont care if you work for burger king, you provide for this family if you have to work night and day and hopefully something good will come along and this wont have to be such a long burden to bare. I'm not sure what is fair. Putting Makayla in the care of others for an 8 hr shift 3 times a week, turning everything that was smooth and stable into something that is less than ideal. Or having Jared freak'n pick up the slack. both ways i'm kinda the bad guy. The really bad thing is that it is down in bountiful, that is an hrs ride, Its in no way convienent to where i live, if i work till 5 i'll get home at six and then make and eat dinner at seven then 8 its her bed time, So i would have one quality hour with her... maybe two if she stays up till 9. Am I so crazy to just want to press through the worst keeping my time with my little one?
(ps sorry about the spelling errors my spell check wouldn't work)
5 comments:
I know it's hard to leave your baby with strangers, or even friends. One of my best friends watches my boys while I work on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and it's hard leaving them with her. However, it has been really good for them. They socialize they have fun with another kid their age, and they learn that mom leaves and comes back. I think that the oppertunity to work only 3 days a week is nice. I have found that getting out 2 days a week gives me a chance to be me and interact with adults. Although everyone is different, and what works for one person doesn't work for another! Maybe you could find something closer that is just mornings, or evenings. Giving you more time at home with her. I had to work more than full time until Emery was 1 because I was finishing up my degree and it was so hard to leave him all the time. Good luck with whatever you decide!
That does seem like a hard decision to make. You do have to think of the benefits from working at the salon, you will get paid, and not pay for daycare. I think it would be a great choice for now while you guys are waiting to see what happens with Jared. Sometimes there have to be sacrifices that we don't want to make but have to. Just remember that if you do take it, you will still be able to be with Makayla in between clients. It will give you something else to do, and more interaction with people. You should give it a try, you might enjoy it, and if not, tell them thanks for the offer, but you can't do it. Good luck with everything!!
zjani- sometimes i wish i knew you personally. i lived above your apt on campus for just a few weeks in the summer of 06. by the time i put it together that you are a friend of josh rowley's/carrie mcgowan's you'd already moved out of married housing. i'm pretty sure we go to the same ward bldg now but are in different boundaries. anyway, that's kind of how i know you :)
i hope you're able to decide what's best for your family. i can understand how frustrating it is right now with unemployment. my husband has been out of work since december. everything i was planning is now on hold b/c i've had to stay at my full-time job (and work a part-time job too) to support us. i don't make enough money to pay all the bills, even with two jobs.
my situation is very different from yours, but i hope you know that others feel your pains and are making awful sacrifices just like you. it's so hard and i've stopped being optimistic. with this economy i no longer have hope that my husband will get a job that can support us so we can add to our family.
i don't want to tell you to be hopeful b/c that's not something i can personally do myself. but i do want to tell you that i understand how hard it is. i am always wondering why my husband can't support us. i am always wondering why he can't find a job after all this time. there just aren't any answers.
i just want you to know that i hurt for you and with you. these are hard times right now and i hope that you'll find strength amidst all the trials. best wishes for you and your family from me, even though we don't know each other.
I know exactly how you feel! When my work started talking about layoffs part of me wanted to be laid off so I could be with Tafton more than just an hour or two every night. But now we're getting to the wire that I might just have to suck it up and get a job somewhere, but I feel like you, I'd rather Ben pick up the slack so I can stay home and raise our children. It's so hard to balance what you want and what you have to do.
I do think you might find it nice to be around adults and have a break from the neverending-ness of parenting. It sounds like a good set up too with a daycare right there. I'm sure things will work out how they are supposed to, sometimes it just takes longer than we'd like. Good Luck! Let me know if you ever need anything.
Good luck! I hope you figure something out. I did insurance transcription from home for about 10 months. I have all the information if you are interested. You must be able to type 75+ wpm.
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