i've met my match

Three kids is hard... three kids that don't sleep during the day is way hard. My little guy is a difficult one to read, the other two were really quite happy babies. Beckam is more sad, and I'm not sure if its just that he is overtired from only taking cat naps or if I'm just not doing something right. One really great point about him is that he sleeps really well at night, he typically just gets up once around 4-6 and eats and then goes back to sleep. So I am one well rested momma, totally opposite of how i was with Konnor. thank heavens for binkys, he luckily will take one most of the time.
 this past Saturday we made a sandbox for the kids and it has been a hit with the kids. before we built it I made some dinosaur fossils out of cement on the ground for them to practice being paleontologists.
 Makayla is still enjoying school, she missed a couple days because we went to the cabin for a short vacation with my mom and two youngest brothers. Montana is so pretty in the fall, i really would love to live up there someday.
I am achieving my orchard dream, I bought two more trees for the backyard on Saturday, one cherry one peach. we planted two apple a couple of weeks ago. To be specific one cameo apple, one breaburn apple, white princess peach, and montmorency cherry tree. I'm so excited to be a small time farmer. My little dessert of a backyard is really coming along to something nice.
I really don't feel like I do much during the day, I feel like I'm one handed. That's why I say I've met my match. He is a beautiful speed bump, but it is taking me forever to do anything in this house. I'm glad I got what I got done before he arrived because even the little projects are just not possible at this point. Things change quickly with little ones so perhaps in a month I'll get my groove back.

Disconnected mom

I read someones pin on 10 things parents should do to connect better with thier kids. I feel like I am a mom who really needs such advice. Most days I am only half aware of the things I say or what is really going on beyond the task I am focused on getting done (I'm so distracted), and I hate it. I really don't want to be that type of parent, but it discribes me. I want to be a parent that my kids will feel like they can talk to and be heard. I get so emotionally disconnected to my older children when I have a new baby, I feel like I'm admitting to a terrible crime... its not a pretty thing to admit or say outloud. I do really well with my babies, but I loosen my nurturing mothering skills with the older kids and replace it with survival mode. I can provide the basics... food, clothing, bedtime, damage control, but emotionally I am a wall. I hate jobs left undone, so I feel like my whole day is running around the house cleaning, and I think everyone knows that with young kids it never is really gonna ever be clean. So i kinda feel like a crazy robot, and a robot would be the way I express my emotions during the day.
I've been walking Makayla everyday to kindergarten, we plan a good 30 minutes to walk there and be on time. The exercise and sunshine has helped tons with my stress, and I hope to start adding running in somewhere to further improve my mood. Both the time spent walking without distraction, and my daughter having kindergarten to talk about, I think has helped me find more of a way to connect with her. I have something to ask her about each day, and I have 30 minutes that I'm not distracted to talk with her on the way to school. I'm hoping this will improve our relationship (not because she doesn't like me) (just because I am a sub par mom) and get me out of my robot emotion.
Do you ever feel like your just going through the motions? Anything that helps? I have a couple new ideas - setting aside 15 minutes for each of my two older kids each day to just do or play what they want to and to just be there in my head. - Hug and cuddle with them when they come close and seem to need attention. - let go of some of the chores and tasks that dominate my time, also reduce the time spent distracted on the Internet to after hours when all is asleep. I'll have to let you know how it all works.

Baby Beckam

 I have a week old baby! He is an angel and I am just loving every minute with him. He was born on the 31st of July, and he weighed 7lbs 14.5 oz and was 21 inches long. The birth went smoothly (no passing out this time) and it was faster than my other births. I had my water broken around 2pm and had him at 10:03pm. I would tell a lengthy story but I really don't have the time right now. So here is a whole bunch of pictures.

I went a little overboard

I loved an idea on pinterest to make a big sibling kit for you kids when they come visit you at the hospital, so I copied it and thought I would share. I also added a bag for my hubby but I didn't take a picture of what I included in his "kit".

 I made shirts for Konnor and Makayla using the cheapest shirts I could find at walmart and some iron on "I'm the big sister/brother" vinyl that I found at Joann's. I also got tote bags from Joann's too they were in a package of three for around $9, kinda spendy but I think my kids will use the bags again. I just bought some iron on alphabet lettering from Joanns too for the words on the bags.

 Makaylas kit has a baby doll that was only $7 from shopko, it has a stethoscope and other Dr supplies and then I bought some dolly diapers and bottles to go along with her. I also got her a drawing pad and some glitter crayons and mini markers for a dollar each at target and Joann's, she loves drawing so this will give her something to do when they come and visit.

For Konnor I got him a imaginext guy riding a dinosaur, a wooden puzzle, and a felt coloring picture of Cars with some spider man markers. I think I will grab one of Makaylas baby dolls and put it in the bag also so he has a baby too if he feels like he needs one.
As for Jared's bag, it has some jerky, wheat thins, some candy and a Muscle and Fitness magazine, he has no idea about it but hopefully he'll like the thought.
All in all it was more expensive than initally planned, but if it helps my kids hate the baby less then its worth it right?

38 weeks

This is a boobing post, if you aren't interested in my whining just skip this one :)
Pregnancy is for the birds. Man I am so done with this whole thing. I hate the heartburn, and I hate my ribs hurting so bad, I hate not being able to bend over very well. I don't like that my kid is much faster than me and that I only have two pairs of shoes that fit. I have 6 days left till my scheduled induction, and you'd think I could manage six days but I'm losing my mind. My babies are quite comfortable with riding out the whole pregnancy inside of me and don't offer to arrive early on their own. I do have my last Dr's appointment bright and early tomorrow morning, I kinda wish she would say head on over the the hospital the baby is coming, but I'm not that lucky. I should just sit back and relax, enjoying the last couple days of me having a hand for each of my children. I don't know that I am capable of relaxing though. I keep thinking maybe if I do this... the baby will come, so for that reason I can't sit still. I'm not the type to try caster oil though, I already feel nauseous and we don't need to add cleaning out my bowels to the whole unpleasantness. I have a whole basement that needs to be finished being gutted and nobody will let me do it pregnant, so that is also another reason why I am losing my mind. I also have two kids who do not go to sleep at a decent hour and I don't know what to do to make them stay in bed. In fact one just came back down to me and it is 10:52, so now I have to go put him back in bed. Wish me luck making it the next 6 days...

Just an update

I really like Brigham City so far. We have some really awesome neighbors and friends who have been so helpful with the whole moving process. So far we have installed a new fridge, 2 window ac units, a kitchen faucet and a washing machine. I accidentally helped Jared break our other washer, its what happens when your running on little sleep and you don't think things through like you should. But hey its really cool to have a new washer, we were given one from his brother when we first moved into our Ogden home and I'm unsure how long they had owned the washer but it was well loved. I'm hoping we can slow down the spending this coming week. We have yet to get a garbage can, which makes us look like the Klampets. Hopefully on Monday we will finally get our can. Its so nice they have a green waste garbage can, and I definitely know how to fill up a green waste can, and its only $4 something extra a month. We moved in on Tuesday and have been busy taking care of everything since. Today is founders day and I finally put on some makeup for the first time this week, I have been meeting all my new neighbors looking like a giant pregnant slob. My ankles look like tree trunks, which is depressing, I wish I could wear long pants to hide them but then I would melt with the heat. I just have a couple more weeks left in this pregnancy and my belly is slowing me down or maybe just making everything more difficult. When we finally get the Internet at our place I'll post the progress of the place!

I can taste it!

After literally a month and a half extention on closing we are finally closed on our Ogden home, and actually we are closed on our Brigham City home too. The catch is we have to wait till funding to move in but that will be on monday. In the mean time we have moved just about everything out of the Ogden home and put what was left in my parents garage... my mom is going to die when she comes home and sees what a crapload of crap is in her garage... and house.... but she wont have to live with it for long because we will be getting our carpets cleaned on monday and begin the moving in process monday night and tuesday. We got back yesterday from a family vacation to West Yellowstone and really had a nice time. It has been at least 3 years since Jareds been able to come up with us to the cabin so it was really nice to have him with us on vacation. When I get the energy I'll plug in my camera and share the photos of the trip, but right now I'm just not interested.
Today was an all out crazy day, Jared had expected to work and so we woke up early to go to our house and mow the lawn and finish cleaning out our stuff for the buyers final walk thru. Then i took jared to work at 9:30, only to pick him up at 10:30 because they had scheduled him off for the wrong day and there was no changing it. So we were able to get more done on the house and he was able to watch the kids while I went to my drs appointment at 12:30, then we had a bite to eat at zuccas, and were back at the house cleaning until it sparkled. I don't know that we have had a moments rest until now since we came back yesterday, and it is such a load off to finally have the house closed. Its really nice to know that I wont be moving all of our stuff back in there, that would have killed me.
The baby is doing good, he is somewhere around 4lbs 6 oz, at this point and if I have my way I'll try to be induced around the 31st of July. I have gained so much weight with this pregnancy and I'm concerned. I wish I had been better with exercising, I definitely move around alot but not like I should. I'm happy I'm not having my first because the hospitals around here have changed their rules for elective inductions for first time mothers to only be performed at 41 weeks. It sounds pretty cruel to me, but since i've had a couple babies I can be induced at 39 weeks. I remember being so jealous of moms who went into labor on their own at 38 weeks or so. There is no rush this time around, I've got alot of work to do.