I'm writing this only because I have very strong feelings about how we treat women who breastfeed in pubic.
Todays news article on KSL featured a mom who was given a letter by the principle of a school she was at, asking her to cover up or go somewhere private when breastfeeding. She was at the school with her children for the free summer lunch program that they offer. Ultimately the news sells a story that has a polarizing effect on what peoples opinions are on this breastfeeding mother.
I wouldn't have even read the story if Jared hadn't mentioned it to me, thinking I would join his opinion of she should have covered up. I didn't check out the story until hours later because I knew it was going to bother me, but I did think about the mom featured and what her reasoning would be to nurse uncovered.
A little background about me, I have four kids, I breastfed all of them, I currently have an infant that I breastfeed. In my own opinion breastfeeding was the hardest part of having a baby, even though I have previous experience with feeding my babies this way, I wouldn't say it gets easier. Each new child brings about a new experience and separate difficulties. To tell a mom breastfeeding is easy is absolutely crazy talk, it should get much easier with time but moms have to be tough as nails to get through the first several weeks if not months.
We live in a world where we are repeatedly told "breast is best", I think we're making a huge transition from the last generation where formula was the norm and breast wasn't encouraged. I could be wrong but it seems that way. I was bottle-fed after two weeks, my husband was solely bottle-fed. In this same world where breastfeeding is encouraged, I cant say that I have ever felt comfortable breastfeeding out in public. On the news there are reports of women being approached or reprimanded for feeding a child out in public... and people eat it up, blasting their opinions of modesty and what not. I choose not to discuss this with Jared because we have completely different views and it only upsets me. His idea is that it should never be done in public, covered or uncovered, bathrooms are a much better alternative feeding space. Maybe he has softened a bit since we last talked about it but I really wouldn't know.
Here's my view, I cover up in public, if I don't have a blanket or cover which has only happened a couple times in my churches mothers room I am very discrete. At home I don't cover, its a pain to get the right latch and it is hot for both me and my poor sweating baby. My kids are around when I feed, they could care less, they've been around when other mothers feed, they could care less. I still try to remain fully covered when I feed at home and really there is not much to see even if you are watching. I have no ill will or bad thoughts about mothers who don't cover or who do cover in public. We're not the same person and I would hate for someone to judge me for feeding my hungry child, no matter the setting.
I've been to "lunch at the school/ park" with my children, I currently don't go because it is too difficult with such a young baby. The reasons I've taken my kids to lunch at the school were
a. we're poor and it helped reduce a financial burden
b. I was too overwhelmed/ tired/ exhausted to make lunch and so that was a better option.
It has never been C. it was fun and it was free, yes its free, but my kind of fun doesn't involve begging my kids to eat some of their food while they are distracted by a hundred other kids running around a hot building. I don't know what the reasons are behind this mom going to free lunch at the school, but it could have also been that she is poor and it helps, or she goes because it is one less worry she has on her plate for the day, or maybe she has other mom friends that go and she gets some support in going. It has to be one of those things other wise it is NOT worth it, it is too much work to take kids in the middle of the day in a hot van to get them some food that they will only piece on and then raid your cupboards when you get home because "they are hungry" all the while having a NURSING INFANT in tow. So she does go, and being a responsible mom she stays with her kids while they eat, baby gets fussy and needs to eat so she feeds baby. (Better alternative than screaming baby and miserable mom and everybody in earshot)(or leaving small children to fend for themselves "
don't go home with bad people kid, I'll be right back" while she finds a dark corner to nurse). It didn't say in this article that she wasn't fully exposed but I guess in other articles it states that she had a "two shirt" system, I don't know what that means but it sounds like she didn't have her full breast out there. She may have chosen not to have a blanket because the school was hot, the schools in Brigham City are hot in the summer. They don't have AC and so whatever it is outside add a couple degrees because they have food being heated inside and you'll get the idea of the sauna schools are in the summer. Anyway, people were uncomfortable and put up a stink and everyone wants to paint her as someone who exposes herself to children. I don't believe her agenda is to expose pre-puberty boys to breasts. She's a mom, and in so being she is probably tired and just trying to make the best choices for her own situation. I know its never going to happen, but please people just stop to think about other peoples situation, you'll never really understand who they are and what they are dealing with, but compassion on your neighbor never hurt. Not everyone is evil, and not everyone is good but we could all try a little harder to help and show compassion.
